Blog

Stop Money Fights Before They Start – Couples And Money: Part 2

By Debt.ca on November 11, 2012 No Comments

If you haven’t already figured out if you’re the spender or the saver in your relationship, take a look at our article about it here.

Regardless of what role each of you play, money will probably be a contentious issue at some point in your relationship, and unresolved issues relating to it are one of the leading causes of divorce.

How To Start Every Conversation About Money

Scream “But I want it NOW” at the top of your lungs.

Just kidding.  That might be your kid’s strategy, but it shouldn’t be yours.

As a partner in a committed relationship, money represents every choice that the two of you make.  Money and how you spend it (or don’t) is one clear representation of the joint priorities and goals of your entire relationship.

Whenever an issue comes up regarding money, rather than trying to convince your partner that they should or shouldn’t do something – take a step back.

This Conversation Is About Your Entire Future

Every dollar you spend is a dollar that can’t go towards another goal that you two have.  So when you disagree, you have to take a step back and ask how this decision will affect your broader goals.

If you have a goal to travel later in the year, then you might not be able to buy that new TV today.  If you have a goal to pay off your credit card debt before December, then going on that vacation might not be in the cards.

What Are You Both Working Towards?

It might be hard to pull away from a heated money argument to say “Wait, honey, let’s think about retirement for a second”.  But try it.  Does that TV REALLY fit in with your goals and priorities?  Goal setting is crucial for a successful relationship.  What’s the point of being with someone who wants completely different things from you?

More importantly, how can it work out?  If you want to settle down with a home and a dog in the town where you grew up and she wants to start an organic farm in Peru, you’re going to have some problems.

If you want to live debt-free and save enough that you can provide your children the type of life you never had and he wants to buy a new car every three years, you’re going to have some problems.

Having common goals means you both waking up facing the same direction.  Choices become easier and arguments become more productive because you both want the same thing.

You Can Have Anything, But You Can’t Have Everything

This expression is one of the most powerful motivators/reality checks when thinking about personal finance.

The key is learning to deny yourself with humour.  As your friends are thinking you’re crazy for not upgrading your 15 year old car, you have to be able to smile and know that what they’re putting into car payments, you’re putting into your financial freedom.

Having a partner to smile along with will help immensely, and it’s this attitude that can prevent money fights from happening.

Setting Financial Goals

You can’t make up your goals in the middle of a fight – you have to have them set ahead of time.

Read our next article on how to set financial goals as a couple.

Debt.ca

Admin


what-no-one

The Secret to Crushing Debt

By Andrew Daniels on December 1, 2016

The Secret to Crushing Debt If there is something that I have been asked many times since we paid off our mortgage it’s “What’s the secret to crushing debt?” Is there really a secret formula to crushing debt? In a word: Yes. There are methods that will help you crush your debt that are quicker…

youpaidnowwhat

You Paid Off Your Debt, Now What?

By Alyssa Davies on November 24, 2016

You did it, you finally made that last payment on your debt load, and you are ready to move on to bigger and brighter things. Money management is something you feel you can finally control and understand, which has become an important part of your new financial life. But after all of those days, months,…

children

How Parents’ Debt Affects Children

By Amanda Reaume on November 15, 2016

While they might not always show it, children are incredibly sensitive to everything going on in their parents’ lives. It’s therefore not surprising that the stress that a family experiences from dealing with debt could have an impact on kids. A recent study by Lawrence M. Berger of the Institute of Research on Poverty at…

3thingsyouneed

The 3 Things You Need Besides Money To Pay Off Your Debt

By Andrew Daniels on November 7, 2016

You’ve decided that you want to break free from debt once and for all. Congratulations! When it comes to paying off your debt there are a lot of things to think about, but deciding to get out of debt is the biggest decision of all. While money is the most important part of debt repayment,…

No Comments Leave a Comment  

Leave a Comment

Free Savings Estimate

How much do you owe?

$100,000

$5,000
$100,000
Live Chat
Welcome to our Live Chat
Agents are not available at this time. Please leave a message. Thank you.
First Name
Last Name
Phone
Email
Postal Code
Debt Amount
 
PHP Live! powered